I almost lost it at PT last night. It seems that the better I feel, the crankier I get. PT “Steve” assures me that this is normal, that it’s actually a sign that I am improving because if I felt crummy, I wouldn’t care what I could or could not do. Perhaps that’s the reason that throughout this ordeal I’ve been able (to the outside observer at least – my husband would tell a very different story) to keep my cool for the most part. I felt so awful that I was simply resigned to my fate. But now I absolutely hate the fact that last night I struggled to do an exercise with no weight – just make the correct movement – that I normally* do with weights, and a lot of them.
My nerves are still touchy as heck, and continue to send the occasional shock down my foot or ankle for no apparent reason. I feel like there is an angry electric eel in my boot, which may attack at any moment without provocation.
Swelling remains a problem, as does the fact that apparently healing makes me ravenously hungry. There is no way I am burning all the calories that my left foot evidently thinks it needs. Unless all the uncontrollable twitching counts as exercise.
But – for my therapy I have worked my way up to (with support and still wearing the boot) shifting my weight from foot to foot, and using a Nerf ball as resistance to work on pressing my foot down, as on a gas pedal.
And what did I start today? I started some new responsibilities at my job. For the moment they are interim responsibilities, but I hope to make them permanent as they fit in with my Master Plan quite nicely. Moo. Ah. Ah.
*The fact that I “normally” do any exercise is remarkable enough as it is. Not so long ago, I would have thought that even contemplating running a half marathon was crazy. A year ago I literally could not run the length of my block. Now I not only am bummed that I can’t do a half marathon this year, but I am also optimistic that in another year or so I can be training for a full. And, after having a great conversation yesterday with the Wellness Coach at my office** I have a backup plan. If it turns out that I can’t run because my feet can’t bear the impact, plan B is roller derby and/or inline speed skating. And no, I am not kidding.
**One of the perks I have at work is that we have a Wellness Coach that visits twice a month. She can check your blood pressure and weight but mostly I use her as a therapist. I could not have gotten through last year without her. But more on that later.